


Teardrops on my Pillow

by Nathlyn



Category: Alex Rider - Anthony Horowitz
Genre: Alex is baby and needs to be protected at all costs, Canon-Typical Violence, Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Verse, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Kidnapping, Murder, Not Beta Read, Yalex fluff, at least a little bit, pongnosis is actually horowitz in disguise
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-20
Updated: 2020-09-20
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:55:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26561764
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nathlyn/pseuds/Nathlyn
Summary: Decisions were always a hard thing in Alex Life. Yassen had taken most of them away from him and every other choice he had was basically bad or  worse.But no training Scorpia had put him through could have prepared him for this.There was no right answer. Only wrong. Both possibilities the most horrifying things that could happen and no way out.Will Alex´s loyalty stay with his childhood friends or will he finally loose everything he had to safe the person he had once threatened to kill?
Relationships: Alex Rider & Jack Starbright, Yassen Gregorovich & Alex Rider
Comments: 8
Kudos: 25
Collections: Devil and the Deep Blue Sea Inspired Works





	Teardrops on my Pillow

**Author's Note:**

  * For [pongnosis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pongnosis/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Devil and the Deep Blue Sea](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10222295) by [pongnosis](https://archiveofourown.org/users/pongnosis/pseuds/pongnosis). 



> Oh my god its finally finished. I am so glad I am finally able to post this. It took me a lot of work (and crying on my bathroom floor) to finally get it done. Its still not my best work, and I am not completely happy with it.

**Teardrops on my pillow**

Getting kidnapped wasn't a new thing in Alex Rider's life. During his career with Scorpia, there were enough cowards who thought they could pull it off. None of them was alive anymore. 

There was still something terrifying about the idea of waking up in an unknown room, restrained on a bed, handcuffed to each side. 

Alex kept his eyes closed, checking out the room he was in while still pretending to be unconscious. The handcuffs were strong and firm enough to dig uncomfortably into his skin, leaving no space to move his wrists. The mattress he was laying on was hard and he could feel the bed through the cheap filing of it. The place he was lying was warm, even though the room around him could use a heater. He must be laying here long enough to absorb his body warmth into the covers. Maybe an hour or two, guessing with his temperature in mind. 

As soon as he was sure that nobody wanted to kill him the second he opened his eyes, he allowed himself to take the rest of the room in. It was completely silent, no footsteps or faint breathing. He was most likely alone in the room. There was probably surveillance located in the room. 

_ It's time to show our host that we are still alive huh? _

Alex opened his eyes, blinking to adjust to the sudden brightness his eyes felt overwhelmed with. The room was bigger than he expected, a simple cell, like in a prison. He looked around carefully, enough to show he was awake but subtle enough to not be mistaken as panic. He couldn't afford to look weak now. It took him a few minutes to analyze the situation he was in as well as possible. A mission in Romania had been assigned to him by Dr Three two months ago. Everything was going according to plan, till it suddenly wasn't. 

He had been sitting in his office, drinking a cup of the tea he had brought earlier that week after he had grown tired of drinking water with faint coffee flavour, while he was reading some files, Klaus had mailed him earlier. He had given him full control over one of his less classified projects to fly over to Romania at a moment's notice. 

Had he kidnapped him, trying to get more power? He had the skills and the resources to do so. But he also had been 16 hours away from him in an office in Seattle. Very unlikely to do so. 

Then his office door opened. Expecting someone from Sagitta, he hadn't even bothered to look up from his computer to face the door until suddenly Yassen Gregorovich settled down in the chair opposite from him, looking as indifferent as ever. 

„Sir?" 

He had asked, not able to keep the questions out of his voice. But Yassen hadn't bothered answering any of them. He wasn't even supposed to be here. Not that Alex had anything against it, he always felt better with Yassen's reassuring presence, especially at the critical state the mission was currently in. But still, Yassen Gregorvich wanted somebody who came into someone's office to have a friendly chat about the weather. 

Something must be up. 

Their conversation had not been long, Alex gave a brief mission report, Yassen listening, giving him new orders, checking how the mission was going. Everything as usual. But all of this wasn't something that requested attention from a board member, especially none where physical presence was needed. Yassen gave nothing away and Alex knew better than to ask. As soon as there was any reason for him to know he would be informed. Otherwise, it was none of his concerns. 

Yassen always knows what he is doing. 

It took Yassen well into the evening to reveal the final changes in the mission plan. 

One of Scorpias contacts, who was supposed to meet up with Alex in a few days for exchange had now demanded Yassen's presence. 

„I want to talk with someone who knows what he's doing"

Given the importance of the role the man was playing, Yassen had accepted and left Malagosto to fly over to Romania. 

His thoughts were interrupted with the rhythmic sound of footsteps outside the door. 

Three people. Most likely guards. A regular patrouille or someone to get him? 

The click of an opening door lock answered his question efficiently. Someone to get him. But who was his capturer? And what does he want? 

I'm probably about to find out.

Three guards stood in the doorframe, observing him. They were looking for any possible threats. Well trained then. 

It took the guards merely a minute to decide how to approach him. They didn't talk, but simply removed the cuffs from the bed and fixated him in between two of them, before escorting him out into a hallway. The prison look didn't vanish during their walk. Cold stonewalls, heavy security, a lot of armed guards. Everything perfectly anonymous, no hint of his capturer. Someone well organized, but with a limited budget looking at the condition the weapons and guns were in. They were watched by every guard they passed, them not caring to be discrete in their stares. 

It took the guards and him maybe five minutes to get to a big oak-framed door. They passed seemingly endless other doors and hallways on the way. Not a simple way out then. 

Yassen 

Yassen would probably already be on the case, trying to get him out together with Sagitta and Danube. That fact made Alex a lot less nervous, and more importantly, able to keep the indifferent facade on his face while he was led to his faith. 

The guards knocked politely on the door, waiting for an answer that followed almost immediately. 

„Bring him in!"

They entered the room completely silent, the guards gripping him tightly, leading him to a wooden chair in the middle of the room. 

„Restrain him throughoughtly, I don't want a bloodbath in this facility, because some guards were incompetent. Remember, he can kill you in seconds." 

The voice was cold but did not hold the disinterest that experienced operatives should. It came from a woman on the other side of the room, sitting on a chair, no, more of a throne, in between another dozen armed soldiers. Her hair was black and wavy, piercing green eyes watching every step Alex took. The woman herself wasn't carrying any weapons. 

A demonstration of power or just foolishness? 

Probably both. A lot of madman's Alex has met were thinking that way. More focused on brushing their ego than keeping their operation at bay. People like this tend to sink in the world of crime.

The guards shoved him down on the chair, grabbing his wrists and putting them together behind the back of the chair. It felt slightly uncomfortable now, but with time, his shoulders would be in agony. He kept still, let them move him around, accepting their rough handling with patience. 

„Orion! It's a pleasure to finally meet you. I've been looking forward to this day for some time now, and am excited to take a look at the person behind the name." 

Alex said nothing, just waited for the woman to continue, watching her wearily, trying to guess her intentions. 

„Oh, but where are my manners? I should introduce myself. I know your name, so its just fair for you to know mine as well isn't it? You can call me Artemis, Orion. 

Do you know the role Artemis played in greek mythology?" 

Her voice was sweet, friendly. 

Alex watched her silently, not knowing what to answer. Does he want to know the answer?

„Please, Alex. No need to be so reserved. You can just answer my, I'm not gonna punish you for any mistakes." 

„I'm not that educated on the topic. Please explain it to me further, so I can understand"

Professional, simple, polite. No need to direct anyone's anger on him so soon. 

She was smiling at him, an open honest smile that lit up that inhuman green in her eyes and let it sparkle with joy and amusement. 

„Thank you for being so honest with me, Alex. Your mentor might have taught you differently but not knowing something isn't bad, but not asking doesn't help you either. You can ask as many questions as you like, so please go ahead if there are any other things you can't follow."

Alex frowned at her words, not quite understanding the meaning. Why should have Yassen taught him that? What exactly knows this person about his relationship with Yassen? 

„Artemis is the goddess of the hunt. She is known for her connection with wild animals and the creation of Orion the hunter. She created him and she brought him down again. Artemis was part of the unification of gods that sent the scorpion. 

Luckily I have nothing to do with SCORPIA anymore, but I think the story is fitting non the less. 

The thing is, and that is why we are here today Alex, that I am going to give you a choice. 

For the first time in five years, you can finally decide your fate yourself, Alex! Isn't that generous of me?° 

Artemis' voice grew stronger with every word she said, obviously in love with her plan. Alex's normal approach for these situations was to keep quiet and let the person who is uncuffed do the talking, but the woman in front of him was eyeing him with an interest in her eyes that couldn't be faked. She wanted to hear his opinion. It would probably be better for his heath to fill the silence and keep her talking. More time to try and get out of this situation, more time for Yassen. 

„A choice? Why would you give me a choice? And isn't keeping me hostage kind of the opposite?" 

The words were out of his mouth before he could think any further. But Artemis didn't seem bothered in the slightest. She had now gotten up from her chair and left the guards behind, getting closer to him. 

He could now focus on her detailed features. She couldn't be older than twenty and was European. Her voice had no trace of an accent, but English wasn't her native language, that much Alex was sure about. Most of her makeup was natural, but well made and her lavish use of dark crimson lipstick was surprisingly good-looking on her. Her face had looked flawless before, but now with better lighting, he could see the thin, long scar that cut her face in half, going over her left eye, over her nose, down to her throat. A wound like this must have hurt like hell. 

„Well, let me explain it to you then little Alex. I know SCORPIA. And I know their work ethics. You see, we have a lot in common. Not just the names Malagosto gave to us. We are more than what SCORPIA made out of us! We are more than their toys, their pets, their slaves! 

If it wasn't for SCORPIA we could have been normal. You could have been normal, Alex. Parents, a little house, siblings, a childhood. You could have had all of this. But SCORPIA took it from you. Isn't that unfair? 

You can change it, Alex! I will give you anything you need to start your new life! Just one little choice and the world could be yours, ours!"

Alex's eyes grew wider and wider with every word she said. What was her goal? There is no way of escaping SCORPIA. Not even now, with Dr Three retired and Yassen as the successor of the organisation. 

Alex huffed at her, glaring. 

„There is no way of escaping Scorpia! Stop bluffing. Just tell me what you want and I will look at what we can do about your demands, keeping me here any longer would only decrease your chances anyway." 

The woman laughed, a short, bitter thing, it felt a bit like a slap to Alex, right to his face.

„Oh, Alex. You know nothing about me or my resources. I am willing to give you a choice, a chance to escape. And all you have to do is to make one little choice. All it will cost you is one human life so save your own. How does that sound?"

Alex's eyes never left her slender form in front of him. Every word sounded more ridiculous. Five years ago, he would have done everything to escape SCORPIA. To go back to his life in London, together with Jack and Ian, but now.. he was aware of the consequences that would have. Everyone would be put in danger by his presence. There were a lot of people out who he had pissed of. And they didn't care about his background or if he was with SCORPIA or not, they just wanted him dead. 

Was there any way out of this? And would it be so wrong to hear her out before he left? 

„Ok, sure. Go ahead or whatever. Show me the choices I have, if it makes you happy."

Alex sounded a little too sassy, even to his ears, but Artemis just smiled her typical breathtaking, bright smile, showing off the perfect white teeth. 

„thank you for your cooperation, Alex. That will make everything much easier."

Her gaze left him for the first time since he entered the room, giving the guards some kind of permission. 

„Bring him into one of the guest rooms and start to set everything up. He's willing to cooperate, but never leave him out of sight." 

  
  
  


Alex had spent the last night in one of the surprisingly comfortable guest rooms this facility provided. He had taken his time to shower, eat and get reasonably rested. He had no idea how much time he had already spent here, but it was definitely enough to make somebody worried. Sagitta had probably already discussed further actions with Yassen. He had been missing for at least 24 hours and it didn't look like he would get out of here soon. Taking out the guards that watched his door wouldn't be the problem, but even if he did manage to escape all the other guards as well, he would still have to get out of here somehow. A building he doesn't know, with the security of unknown level and guards. It would be stupid and reckless to try anything. 

It was probably around noon when there finally was some movement in front of his door. Alex was lying on top of his mattress, counting sheep in his mind. Getting kidnapped shouldn't be so boring. 

As soon as the door lock clicked open, he was upon his feet again, watching the door carefully. 

„Mr Rider, Artemis would like to see you. all precautions have taken place and she's now ready to seal the deal."

He was surprised to recognize the face in the doorframe. 

„Patel?"

Alex hadn't expected to see any known face in her, much less the assassin he had met in Miami. 

„It is a pleasure to meet you once again, Orion. You've come far since I last saw you. Please follow me now, I will take you to Miss Artemis office." 

It was another quiet walk but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. There was some kind of agreement between them not to mention anything of their shared past and it felt good. Alex knew that Patel wasn't necessarily an Ally but it felt good to have someone in his corner. Even if it's in such a twisted kind of way. 

They entered Artemis office not too far after. A big room, modern, a lot of glass. And in the middle the beautiful black haired women from yesterday, looking the same as if only five minutes had passed since their last encounter. 

„Thank you, Patel. Leave us alone now. We have things to talk about and they are none of your business."

Her voice has lost all of the sweet honey it was coated in yesterday. Only sharp orders left. Patel looked as indifferent as ever leaving the room. Artemis immediately turned towards Alex, the smile back on her lips, today painted in a deep black. 

„There you are, sweet boy. I hope you got a good night's rest. We will start with our little ‚project' now. Did you get some breakfast in your room? We can stop by the kitchen if you're hungry." 

Alex started to get fed up with that polite hospitality the woman constantly kept up.

The woman left the room, asking him with a gesture of her hand to follow him. 

She led him to a room, walking in complete silence. The gracefulness of a Malagosto graduate shone through in every inch of her body, every just so slight move. 

Alex was seated into the same seat he sat in yesterday. He started to feel a little uneasy again, especially when two guards started restraining him again, cuffing his hands behind his back, his muscles still protesting from the pain they were in yesterday. 

„What is all this Artemis?! I thought you were giving me a choice! Restraining me is exactly the opposite." 

„Patience little boy. You will get your choice soon enough. Now stop struggling I won't let you interrupt any of my carefully laid out plans."

She smiled, a little too smug for his liking, and made a gesture towards Alex's eyes. One of the guards took the unspoken order as what it was and stepped behind him. Alex started to tense visibly as two hands were slowly set on his shoulders, keeping him still. 

„I hope you're ready Alex, there's no way out anymore. See you on the other side."

Before Alex could even ask what that meant, he felt a sharp sting on his pulse, followed by a burn in his blood. Then, everything faded into sweet nothingness once again. 

Alex woke up with a throbbing headache, barely able to open up his eyes. The bright light stung through his eyelids and he needed to blink several times before he could even open his eyes properly. He groaned, trying to cover his eyes with his sleeve, but not able to do so because his wrists were still cuffed to the chair he was sitting on. He blinked in surprise as he registered that he wasn't alone in the room. Artemis and her guards were probably around here as well, but his whole attention fas focused on the two figures opposite to him. They were chained to a wall, heavily secured and not able to move a single inch. He had a sickening feeling of familiarity looking at them, but he couldn't quite point out what it was, that made him so uncomfortable. He had seen a lot of people in chains over the last years, two more shouldn't bother him that much. Their heads were covered with linen bags and they seemed unconscious. 

„I may introduce you to your choice, little Alex." 

Artemis' voice broke into his train of thoughts once again. She had been waiting in the shadows, watching him, with these unhuman green eyes, looking sickeningly satisfied with the situation. 

„Let me explain the game to you before we finally start. It's super simple. You simply need to decide who dies. Easy as that. You decide, and you and the living person can walk out of here. Nobody will bother you and, if you want, we can even arrange for comfortable transportation four you and your companion of choice. 

He could do that, couldn't he? He had sent so many people to death, he lost count of it. One more wouldn't hurt. He could save one life after all. 

„Alright, everything is settled, we are ready to start! Let's go!"

Artemis clapped in her hands, twice. A sharp sound that somehow felt like an end to something. 

_ Just choose, just choose, just choose, just choose, just choose… _

Then, two guards lifted the bags and Alex's mind went blank. Every plan, idea, choice he ever had just vanished, leaving nothing behind except the feeling of cold, blanc emptiness. Alex was scared. 

In front of him was a scene he never wished To witness. A scene, he wouldn't even think possible.

A Deja Vu and something completely new at the same time. He could do nothing, nothing except sit there and stare. 

In front of him, the bags are gone, left him with two far too familiar faces. Jack, unconscious, with a split lip and a blue eye but otherwise fine and…

**Yassen.**

The picture of his mentor, barely conscious, chained to a wall was something that would be burned in Alex's mind forever. It would fuel a good amount of nightmares in the future. 

Artemis stepped forward, getting close to Yassen. FAr too close for Alex liking. She stroked over his cheek, following his jawline down to his throat, was one sharp fingernail slowly scratched over it, leaving a red line behind. 

„Your choice darling. Will you choose the person who loved and supported you through your life, who cared for you when you were lonely, who cooked you meals, helped with your homework, who didn't leave you even when you were a trained killer, who you got shot for, or will it be him."

Her fingernails dug into his flesh, letting one single drop of blood escape its prison and run down until it vanished in Yassen's shirt. 

That was the moment that broke Alex. His vision blurry from tears, his throat burning, he started to cry. Heavy whimpers leaving his mouth, making breathing hard. He should stay strong, work on something that will get all three of them out of here but there wasn't any space in his head. It was filled with this blinding white fog, not allowing a single thought next to it, filling his mind up completely. 

_ Just choose, just choose, just choose, just choose, just choose… _

He couldn't! He couldn't leave one of them to die! He couldn't… 

But was there another choice? HE had thought about various escape plans during his time here and hadn't come up with a single one. 

  
  


„There's no need to cry, darling. You just have to make that one decision right now. 

If you choose Miss Starbright here, you can leave. I provide you with a new life, and new identities and then I can finally take what I want. Scorpia. 

Dr Three would be happy about that, but he's retired by now and if nothing else works… he can still be deposed of. I kill our pretty little Russian here, take over Scorpia and you can leave. I will have enough resources to provide solid identities, you can even keep your own money to have a start. That's everything you ever wanted Alex. Back with Jack in normal life, Chinese takeout, a normal job, movie nights, nothing out of the ordinary. 

I could simply kill Gregorovich now and simply take what I want with violence, but I promised you would have a say in it. 

If you want Gregorovich alive, however, nothing of this will happen. You can still walk out of here, with Gregorovich or without him, I don't care, but there will be no "New Life" for you. I will kill this woman right here, chained to the wall and you will have to watch me do it. And you will know that it was your fault alone."

_ Your fault, your fault, your fault, your fault, your fault… _

_ Just choose, just choose, just choose, just choose, just choose… _

_ Your fault, your fault, your fault, your fault, your fault, YOUR FAULT  _

Alex screamed. It was a high pitched sound full of terror and helplessness. And it made him flinch. He should be so weak. It was his fault that they were in this situation. He had brought them here and he had to bring them out of here. Somehow.

He felt his thoughts overwhelming him, trying to break him down. Alex tried to remember the mediation lessons Yassen taught him in the cabin. He felt his mind grew calmer, getting a clearer view of things. Literally. The tears slowly vanished out of his eyes, leaving a much clearer view behind, letting him take in the details he hadn't seen before. 

Yassen and Jack looked alright. There was no obvious harm done to them, nothing that would take more than a couple days of healing. At least not visibly. Their chests were moving rhythmically, slowly starting to speed up their movement. Alive and not life-threatening then.

„You should not make this decision alone, Alex. Let our guests hold your company."

A guard stepped forward, forcing a needle into Jack's flesh. The effect was almost immediate. Before the guard was even finished with the procedure by Yassen, Jack started to wake up. The whole process took maybe a minute or two and while Alex could just sit and painfully watch his friends, not his family, get aware of the situation around them thy slowly started to look around. 

Yassen showed once again incredible self-control. He looked mostly indifferent, maybe slightly in pain to everyone around them. But Alex could read the man like no one else could. He saw the confusion, the pain, the angst in the blue eyes. A look he never had seen on his mentors face. 

Jack took the whole situation less… graceful. She was shaking in terror, tears filling her eyes.

„A-Alex, what's going on here? Are you ok? I -I don't remember anything."

Alex tried to force a reassuring smile on his lips.

„It's ok Jack, I got this. Everything is under control. 

Alex felt icy blue burning in the side of his head. Yassen knew all of his words were fake and he let him know that.

„Now, Alex… your time is up. I want an answer, and I want it now"

Artemis had stepped back between her guards, watching them from a save distance. Her eyes sparkled with mischief, making her interest in his answer obvious. Alex looked at her, hate and anger filling his gaze. 

„I have no answer, not for that."

He almost spits the last words out, like they were poison filling his mouth. 

Her black-painted lips held a smile that could almost count as pity. She clapped in her hands, twice. A couple of guards appeared in the door, holding a bag made out of leather in their hands. Alex knew this kind of bag. Knives. Not just normal ones, but those were made for torturing. 

„You see Alex, either you are going to make your choice now, or I will hurt both of them very, very bad. You don't want that, do you?"

Bright white teeth flashed through that wicked grin of hers, as she slowly took out a bunch of knives, placing them carefully. 

„You see, I am not very good at torture. Almost failed Dr Threes classes back in Malagosto. But I will do my best to get some sweet, little screams out of your friends here. Gregorovich might be a challenge, but Miss Starbright should be easy enough. I have looked up some methods recently and would love to try them, so don't feel like you're in a hurry darling boy."

Alex slowly felt panic raising back into his mind. His breath speeded up, he didn't know what to do. This wasn't a choice, this was his torture. And it was far worse than any waterboarding with Dr Three could ever have been. 

He saw them in his mind, his sweet little moments with Jack. 

How they went for Ice cream for his fourth birthday, the way Jack looked at him when he forced her to read stories to him. 

How happy she had looked when Alex gifted her a self-made necklace he made at school for mothers day. 

How her eyes had sparkled as Alex ripped away from the wrapping paper from his new Nintendo on another Christmas without Ian. He never wanted gaming consols in his house, Jack must have been saving up for months. 

Jack in the cell in Russia, the terror in her eyes when he got shot. 

How exhausted she was after a week at Malagosto, how her eyes were always full of her love towards him, Anger, Disappointment, Annoyance yes, but never without love. 

He couldn't leave her to die. She had done so much for him, he should be able to sacrifice this one thing for her. 

But still… Alex couldn't help as the new memories slowly started to let Jacks fade. 

Yassens approving nod as he shot his first target bullseye, the way Yassen silently sit next to him when he couldn't sleep, listening to his Japanese classes and having a watchful eye on him. 

How Yassen had told him about being a helicopter pilot, how Yassen had trusted him with his life, lied for him, protected him with everything he had. The grounding, but soft touches on his shoulder whenever Alex was too ruffled up. Some memories had been long forgotten, others present like freshly fallen snow. How Alex, a trained killer, second in command of a board member, and 

19 goddamn years old had crawled in Yassen's bed, like a four-year-old after a nightmare, and Yassen hadn't even raised an eyebrow and simply gave him space on the mattress and held him close till he had fallen asleep. 

Alex smiled softly. Not even Sagitta or JAck knew anything about that. How lonely he had felt after this extremely horrible mission, almost losing all of Sagitta and Danube. And how Yassen's body warmth and the smell of his shampoo had slowly let the memories fade into a bad dream, finally making room for sleep. 

„Alex"

Yassen's sharp voice ripped him out of the pleasant memory, leaving only the cold reality. 

Artemis was standing between them by now. A sickeningly sharp knife in one hand, a pair of black leather gloves in the other. The knife was dangerously close to Jacks throat, who was sobbing uncontrollably. 

„Your choice Alex, now! Or she will be screaming till you decide."

Alex swallowed, hard. He couldn't just decide for one. 

The knives moved closer, now pointed at one of her nerves on her shoulder. 

„Let us make that arm a little less useful, hm pretty thing. It's over really fast, so don't worry."

Artemis' voice was sticky sweet, her hand, now covered in leather, slowly keeping Jack in place. 

The knife moved closer…

3 inches…

Two…

One…

The blade slowly parting skin…

„ **YASSEN!"**

Even Alex was surprised by the volume of his voice. He was panting, tears running down his face, pure terror in his eyes. His fingernails were dug deep enough in his hands to draw blood, knuckles white from the force.

Artemis arched an eyebrow, looking at him with that goddamn smile on her face. 

„What Alex? What is with Yassen? You should be more specific with your demands darling boy." 

„I- I want Yassen to live!"

Alex voice broke, interrupted with pained sobs. He broke down completely, tears never stopped to come, shaking like a leaf. He tried to look away, not wanting to see the consequences of his decision. 

He heard Jack break down as well, her crying would haunt him for the rest of his lifetime. 

Then, it was over. One gunshot sounded through the room, silence following. It was followed by pathetic whimpers from Alex, not being able to look at Jack's corpse. 

„I am so proud of you, Alex. You did so well. So, so well, just for me. You can leave now. Getting back to Scorpia, being their little pet assassin. I hope it was worth the price you paid for it. 

Mr Gregorovich, I thank you for your patience today, I hope that you are happy with the outcome. We will get you out of here as soon as possible." 

Alex barely registered the words, the only thing he was able to focus one was the blood painted wall and the mess that used to be his best friend. 

Another sharp sting in his shoulder and everything went black. 

  
  
  
  


When he woke up, he was back in his bed in one of Yassen's apartments. It took him a while to register where he was and why he was here. Wasn't he supposed to be on a mission? 

Alex groaned, the horrible headache making it almost impossible to move. Everything hurt like hell. 

It was the moment he saw Yassen's blue eyes, watching him leaving his room that brought the memories back. The sudden Nausea forced him to run to the bathroom, ending up as a vomiting, crying wreck. It took him almost ten minutes to get back up, still feeling completely miserable. 

He killed her. It didn't matter if he pulled the trigger or not. That was ultimately his fault. HE KILLED HER! Not Artemis, not one of the guards, not Yassen, no he did it. 

_Yassen_

He went back to the living room, still slightly unsure if his legs would carry him. It was a weird picture displayed in front of him. Yassen was sitting on the couch. Just sitting. Not working, not thinking, not reading, nothing. Just sitting and watching him. He looked sad, there was nothing left of the usual indifference that constantly made him unreadable. He was simply and openly sad. 

It was this look Yassen gave him. The open emotions in it that broke Alex dams completely. Without much care in holding up his pride, he made the last final steps and hugged Yassen. 

It was probably uncomfortable for the assassin, but he didn't seem to mind. Yassen simply held him close when Alex started to cry once again. Not loud, not ugly. Just silently sobbing into Yassen's shoulder. Yassen started to mumble soothing Russian in his ear, slowly starting to hug him back.

And both of them didn't let go for a long time. 

He didn't feel happy, or good. But he felt safe. And he knew, as long as Yassen was there with him, everything else would be okay somehow. 

**Author's Note:**

> It hurt so much ;-;  
> I am sorry if there are any continuity errors in it, but I wrote it over a long time and might have missed some in my final correction. I hope I didn’t but feel free to shove them in my face if you find some.  
> btw. „Talking Stage“ is not abandoned and will be continued but I am currently not in a mental place to write any reral fluff. I try to get a chapter done next sunday, but I am not sure about it.


End file.
